Why Your Autistic Child Isn’t Speaking
“In my 20 years of working with my clients, I’ve watched parents spend years—and tens of thousands of dollars—on speech therapy that was never going to work. Not because the therapist was bad, not because the child or parent wasn’t trying hard enough, but because everyone was focused on the wrong thing. Today, I’m sharing 3 reasons why complex autistic children don’t speak and 3 things you can do to help your child communicate, because honestly, continuing in speech therapy that isn’t working can be detrimental to your child’s progress.”
Most of my clients are nonspeaking with very complex bodies. I had a mom ask me if she thought her child was going to speak. She had done all the things her doctor had told her. He was 10 years old and I could see the emotion on her face. Here’s what I explained to her:
- Whole body apraxia
Speech is a VERY fine motor skill and for those with motor planning challenges, this is going to be one of the more challenging things to work on, especially if the rest of the body can’t coordinate itself.
Communication is something many of us take for granted. I was talking with a parent last week and she said to me, i just want to know if he’s in pain and what hurts so I can fix it.
- Medical complications
- Brain inflammation
- Seizures
- Mitochondrial issues
Imagine every time you heard a sound it was amplified and it was so loud it caused stabbing pain. Or what if your skin felt like fire every time someone or something touched you? So you lived with such anxiety and stress that you could do much else except figure out how to avoid these situations.
- Intense sensory overload
Brain can’t learn new things – especially motor movements
Constant fight or flight – you’re literally just trying to “make it through”
So here’s what to do:
If your child is younger, find a speech therapist who understands whole-body apraxia and presumes competence. Continue to work on speaking through play and practice.
If your child is older and speech therapy hasn’t worked, it’s time to explore alternative communication. Your child’s communication doesn’t have to stop at ‘I want juice.’ They have thoughts, opinions, things they’re desperate to tell you. How do I know that for sure? WBA
And alternative communication methods like spelling and typing can unlock that.
I know what you’re thinking—’My child can’t spell.’ But remember, this is about motor practice FIRST. They need to build those motor pathways, just like an athlete training for the Olympics. You don’t start at the competition—you start with practice. They need to learn the motor skills first. I’ve got a full video breaking that down—link is right here.
Don’t forget about addressing any of the medical complications. Make sure to find a physician who truly understands your child and all the medical complications that can come with autism. I have resources linked in my description.
Okay what about sensory overload – two things about this. First and most importantly, you have to realize that your child perceives the world MUCH differently than you. Second, observe your child. What do they avoid, or what do they enjoy? When you can understand these two things, you can set up for success. They will be calmer and their brain more ready to learn new things.
“Remember that mom I mentioned at the beginning? The one with the 10-year-old who asked if her child would ever speak?
Here’s what else I told her: Speaking isn’t the only way to communicate. And sometimes, the body just isn’t ready for that level of fine motor control…yet.
You’re doing an amazing job! Let’s continue to talk about this and build our community.
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Your child has so much to say. Let’s give them the tools to say it.
To get help with a personalized plan for your child, please visit Spellers Center Atlanta.
Be sure to check out the Spellers Documentary to see how Spellers Method has impacted so many people’s lives.
