What You’re Not Told About Autism: A Parent’s Guide to the Motor Connection
When people hear the word autism, they typically think of behaviors: limited eye contact, sensory sensitivity, repetitive movements, or delayed speech. While these traits are part of the autism spectrum, they don’t tell the whole story.
What’s missing from most conversations is something critical: motor planning challenges. For many children on the spectrum, movement difficulties are at the heart of their challenges with communication, regulation, and independence.
This blog explores three key truths about autism that are often overlooked—insights that can change how you understand and support your child.
Truth #1: Autism Is a Motor-Based Disability
Autism is frequently viewed through a social or behavioral lens. But for many children, it’s primarily a neuromotor condition—one that impacts how the brain controls and coordinates physical movement.
A central piece of this puzzle is praxis, the ability to plan and carry out purposeful movement. Praxis enables tasks like walking, getting dressed, or writing a sentence.
Some children with autism experience whole-body apraxia, a condition where the brain intends to move—but the body doesn’t follow through. These aren’t coordination issues or simple clumsiness. They’re signs of a disrupted brain-body connection.
For example, a child may be fully aware of what’s being asked but physically unable to initiate the action. This can look like noncompliance or refusal, when in fact, the child simply cannot execute the movement. These motor breakdowns are common in children who are nonspeaking or struggle with regulation.
The real issue isn’t defiance—it’s motor disconnection.
How Parents Can Help
Understand that motor difficulties are not a fringe issue in autism—they’re central. Seek out occupational therapists (OTs) familiar with whole-body apraxia and sensory-motor integration. These professionals can help your child build motor pathways that improve their ability to act on their intentions.
Truth #2: Autism Doesn’t Mean Cognitive Delay
One of the most damaging myths about autism is that limited speech or lack of response equals low intelligence. But many autistic children are highly capable cognitively—they’re just locked out of traditional ways of showing it.
Standard IQ tests often require pointing, verbal responses, or timed actions. But for children with motor impairments, these demands make it nearly impossible to show what they know.
For instance, if a child can’t point to the correct answer on a page, it doesn’t mean they didn’t know it. It might mean they physically couldn’t make their arm move in the way they intended. When we assume that failure to respond is a sign of intellectual disability, we’re missing the real barrier: motor execution, not comprehension.
We must stop confusing motor challenges with cognitive ones.
How Parents Can Help
Adopt a mindset of presumed competence. Assume your child understands—even if they can’t yet show it. Explore alternative communication systems like letterboards, reliable forms of AAC, or typing. These tools give children access to expression without relying on speech or fine motor tasks.
Truth #3: Not All Behavior Is Communication
In autism advocacy, we often hear the phrase “behavior is communication.” While well-intentioned, this oversimplification can be misleading—especially for children with whole-body apraxia.
Sometimes, behavior isn’t communicative—it’s a result of motor breakdown or dysregulation.
For example, a child may repeatedly move their arms, lash out, or resist transitions. These may be signs that their motor system is overwhelmed or stuck—not that they are misbehaving or trying to “say” something.
Dysregulation often puts children into a fight-or-flight state, where movement becomes reactive and impulsive. They may have difficulty stopping once they start an action or may seem unable to follow through with a task. This isn’t willful disobedience—it’s a breakdown in the connections between the brain and the body.
When we see behavior as intentional when it’s not, we misunderstand the child.
How Parents Can Help
Recognize that behavior often reflects motor distress, not defiance. Partner with professionals who focus on regulation and motor skill building, and begin looking at behavior through a neurological—not behavioral—lens.
What Parents Can Do Right Now
Understanding these three truths changes everything about how we support autistic children. Here are specific steps you can take today:
🧠 Shift the Way You Think
Many parents have been told their child “can’t” do things—walk, talk, write, or understand. It’s time to challenge those beliefs. Ask yourself: Could this be a motor issue rather than a cognitive one?
Focus on your child’s strengths, and be open to the idea that their biggest challenges may come from how their brain and body coordinate movement, not from a lack of intelligence or effort.
🔄 Recognize the Brain-Body Disconnect
Start observing how your child responds to everyday tasks. Do they freeze, hesitate, or engage in seemingly unrelated actions? These may be signs of motor planning difficulties.
Understanding this disconnect allows you to support them with compassion instead of frustration—and to communicate more effectively with their therapy team.
❓ Ask Questions and Seek Better Answers
If your child has been labeled with an intellectual disability due to poor test performance or behavior, don’t stop asking questions. Look deeper.
Find providers who understand motor-based communication, whole-body apraxia, and sensory-motor therapy. Don’t be afraid to pursue second opinions or alternative evaluations.
🧩 Build a Supportive Community
You are not alone. Connect with other families navigating similar challenges. Look for online groups, advocacy organizations, or therapists who specialize in neuromotor differences in autism. Community can offer insight, validation, and new ideas.
📢 Advocate Relentlessly
In schools and clinics, your child may still be seen through a behavioral or cognitive lens. Be the voice that shifts the conversation.
Push for therapy plans that prioritize motor needs, not just compliance. Ask for sensory-motor evaluations, a whole-body apraxia-focused OT, and accessible communication options. Your advocacy matters.
🌱 Final Thoughts: Seeing the Whole Child
Autism isn’t just a behavioral or social disorder. For many, it’s a neuromotor condition—one that affects how movement, regulation, and expression work together.
When we focus only on outward behavior, we miss the incredible intelligence, insight, and capacity hidden behind movement challenges. When we assume a child “won’t,” we miss the reality that they can’t—yet.
But with the right support, that “yet” can change everything. For more help and information, you can set up an appointment at Spellers Center Atlanta – we look forward to supporting you however we can.
✨ The Takeaway for Parents
- Autism is often a motor condition.
- Your child may understand far more than they can show.
- Behavior is sometimes just a motor symptom, not a message.
- You have the power to change the narrative—and their future.
If you’ve ever felt that something didn’t add up in how professionals describe your child… trust that instinct.
You’re not imagining it. You’re seeing what others miss. And now, you can begin advocating from a place of understanding, truth, and empowerment.
Be sure to check out the Spellers Documentary to see how Spellers Method has impacted people lives.
